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My Life and Priorities
Sep. 12th, 2010 08:52 pmLately, I've been bouncing between mild depression and lethargy, to actually feel glimmers of hope and little surges of energy, and feeling comfortable. I keep taking those little surges and using them to try and figure out what's going on, since it feels like I've been a zombie the past three weeks.
I've discovered I'm not scared of the portfolio review in that I won't be accepted into the art program. I know I'm not the best artist, but I also know I'm decently good. What I'm REALLY afraid of is what portfolio review means: I'll be going from lower level, to upper level classes.
I've been working at the level of upper classes, so that's not the problem. The problem is I have to declare a major. And that scares the hell out of me. I am very much a mixed media artist, and I love dabbling in pretty much anything. So having to choose a single area to focus on is daunting.
The obvious answer is Drawing. But...that's not what my heart says anymore. Clay would be the next obvious answer, because I've worked with it before and am good enough that a professor tried to recruit me when I was still in high school. But I don't know if that's the answer, either.
Then there's printmaking. I haven't done it before. Even in class, we haven't done it yet or even seen demonstrations. But I know what it entails, and it's something I'm very interested in. I could even learn book binding, and paper making.
But it's also very expensive, and not exactly a widely-known art form (to the general public). And I'd be taking a giant leap of faith, since I don't know anyone in the department, and I could wind up hating it. And because I already know I'm coming at it from a completely different angle than the vast majority of my classmates.
But there's something so romantic about it, to me. It would also give me the opportunity to incorporate writing into my art, and I wouldn't feel like I'm betraying that part of myself anymore.
I started out this post just meaning to say that I'm working out my priorities. But guess my brain doesn't work that way. :p
I've discovered I'm not scared of the portfolio review in that I won't be accepted into the art program. I know I'm not the best artist, but I also know I'm decently good. What I'm REALLY afraid of is what portfolio review means: I'll be going from lower level, to upper level classes.
I've been working at the level of upper classes, so that's not the problem. The problem is I have to declare a major. And that scares the hell out of me. I am very much a mixed media artist, and I love dabbling in pretty much anything. So having to choose a single area to focus on is daunting.
The obvious answer is Drawing. But...that's not what my heart says anymore. Clay would be the next obvious answer, because I've worked with it before and am good enough that a professor tried to recruit me when I was still in high school. But I don't know if that's the answer, either.
Then there's printmaking. I haven't done it before. Even in class, we haven't done it yet or even seen demonstrations. But I know what it entails, and it's something I'm very interested in. I could even learn book binding, and paper making.
But it's also very expensive, and not exactly a widely-known art form (to the general public). And I'd be taking a giant leap of faith, since I don't know anyone in the department, and I could wind up hating it. And because I already know I'm coming at it from a completely different angle than the vast majority of my classmates.
But there's something so romantic about it, to me. It would also give me the opportunity to incorporate writing into my art, and I wouldn't feel like I'm betraying that part of myself anymore.
I started out this post just meaning to say that I'm working out my priorities. But guess my brain doesn't work that way. :p